Manage Your Petty Boss
Managing up is a requisite of success. Managing a petty boss can be a requisite of workplace survival. Every now and then, we find ourselves in the clutches of a petty boss. You know the type. Usually there is some combination of characteristics to include: passive-aggressiveness, manipulative, erratic, back-biting, divisive, micro-managing, hyper-sensitive and other childish displays.
Who is the petty boss? It’s the boss who shares their criticisms of you with everyone, but you. It’s the boss who holds a grudge against you for not greeting them upon their arrival. It’s the boss that questions your loyalty because they saw you talking to another manager who has a job opening. The one who subtly anoints the severely under-skilled, yet overly submissive coworker. The boss who gets upset when you question them in a staff meeting. Yeah, that boss.
These bosses are stressful. You begin to dread the thought of going to the place you see more than your own bedroom. You find a quiet place to cry or complain to friends until your cell phone feels like a hot plate. In the worst scenarios, you contemplate quitting without another job lined up or going ape feces on homie in front of the whole team.
But guess what?! With effort, patience and a positive attitude, you can manage the petty boss. First, we must understand what causes the pettiness of bosses.
Why is the Petty Boss Petty?
The root cause of pettiness can generally be traced to insecurity. Being the boss is insufficient for Sir Petty, he needs to feel like a boss. They feel like a boss when people fear them. They feel like a boss when their subordinates offer displays of submission and admiration. Some petty bosses are aggressive and domineering. Others can be more passive and indirect. But either way, the petty boss tends to create a hostility in the workplace for those that feed their insecurity.
The Strategy: Manage Up
What’s the strategy? Manage that foo! Your petty boss can and must be managed if you intend to thrive in your workplace. Managed correctly, you can neutralize their destructive behavior and build a positive relationship you can leverage toward future success.
But how?! HOW SWAY?! Below are some methods to employ when confronted with Mr. or Ms. Petty.
The Tactics: How Do I Manage the Petty Boss
The Petty Boss can be managed if you engage them and their environment appropriately. With courage, vulnerability and humility on your part, you’ll have the right mind set. Remember, the boss is just a human with role different from your own in a specific context. Otherwise, they blow-up bathrooms just like you do after Chipotle (admit it, that analogy is better than the “he puts his pants one leg at time like you do” crap). That said use the few tactics listed below:
1. Identify Insecurity Triggers
If you don’t already know, you need to note what triggers the boss’ insecurities. Pay attention to their reactions to your behavior. Do they get defensive when you ask questions in meetings? Is your assertiveness met with equal resistance? Are there certain people the boss doesn’t seem to want you conversing with? Write these triggers down to make their behavior more predictable.
2. Identify Their Motivations
What does it mean for your boss to win? What brings them pleasure (in the workplace you creep. That’s right, I know where your mind went)? When do they positively respond to your behavior and the behavior of others? Write these down too.
3. Engage to Empathize
At the end of the day, you need to remember that this petty boss is human. Empathize. Try to imagine yourself in their shoes. You could easily be in their position and may be acting similarly in different parts of your own life. Empathize by conversing with your boss and deepening your understanding of the reasons for your boss’ triggers and motivations.
To do this, request a meeting. Ask homie some open-ended, yet probing questions to loosen them up and encourage self-reflection.
Questions like:
- What do you like about our organization?
- What do you expect from your team?
- What do you like about your position?
- How does this job fit into your long-term goals?
- How can I help you succeed?
Confirm understanding by paraphrasing answers to your questions. Paraphrasing will also demonstrate to your boss your interest in comprehending their view. Done right, the boss will feel like you’ve walked a block in their shoes. This will change the dynamic of your relationship and create a solid foundation for a more personal relationship.
Empathy can provide a map of a person’s insecurity minefield. In most cases, on the other side of that minefield are greener pastures, fertile for the growth of a relationship. Now I’m not saying its guaranteed yall gone be super tight, but yall can be coo. This approach can instantly build the rapport you need to for more direct and safe communication in the future.
4. Manage-Up
The understanding you’ve developed through this process can help you better predict and manage your boss’ behavior. You now know what triggers pain and what motivates action in your boss. Use this knowledge to facilitate better interactions with your boss.
For example, let’s say you have an idea to improve the efficiency of a procedure developed by your boss. Let’s say your innovation can save your work group oodles of time and money. Through your research you’ve found that the boss is negatively triggered by criticism, interprets public inquire about previous decisions as criticism and values any opportunity to look efficient before his higher-ups. Don’t wait for a staff meeting to ask the boss “why are we committed to inefficient processes?” Instead, wait for a moment alone with the boss, then ask “if we have ideas about how to save the team time and money, how should we present those ideas to you?”
The cool thing about this approach, it appeals to the boss’ value of efficiency while side stepping their insecurities about criticism. Your knowledge of the boss’ triggers and motives told you how to approach and the rapport opened the door for you to deliver.
See? You can facilitate success for yourself and the team. You can lead your boss and mitigate their petty tendencies.
So quit whining about how petty yo boss is and manage that foo.